I need a kilt. At the Ceilidh dances, I look like an American tourist, what with my Levi's 505 jeans and all. Disgraceful. Look. I can do the Gay Gordons, the Military Two-Step, the Virginia Reel, the Strip the Willow, the Canadian Barn Dance, the Dashing White Sergeant,
One of my favorite writers is Amy Hempel. She specializes in writing really really short stories, like one or two pages long. Hempel was once asked for a writing tip. She replied, "cut out all the boring parts". Westminster Abbey Amy and I are in Westminster Abbey and
The US government almost did something bold, sweeping, deep, and utterly rational in the 1970's. I know Millenials will find this hard to believe. But I lived through it, so I know. They almost switched to the metric system. As a 9 year old, my school (Lincoln Elementary
Amy and I are in Yotam Ottolenghi's restaurant ROVI in London. Our server pops over and pours us glasses of tap. We ask if Ottolenghi is hanging around. "I just started working here," she replies. "I don't think I'd know him
When Amy found the Scottish Kennel Club All Breed - 4 days of rollicking canine mayhem at the Royal Highland Showground in Ingliston, I wasn't exactly jazzed about it. I'm not a "dog person". Not their target demographic. I said, "Meh, I'
TL;DR The post-donation snacks are better. Having said that, I am only in the UK for 6 months. I sign up to give blood the second week I'm here. I tell the intake person at the Scottish National Blood Transfusion Service, and she asks, "You are
At a Scottish party, no one gets left behind. No one! The word ceilidh (pronounced KAY-lee, just like it looks) means "visit" in Scots Gaelic. But of course a ceilidh is more than a visit. The object of a ceilidh is to dance your ass off. Or, more
There's a difference between The Best Album and Your Favorite Album. It's hard to accept this fact, especially if you're passionate about music. If you love the album so much, it must be objectively better than other albums out there. But then you start
I woke to the smell of tomatoes and macaroni. My mother used to make tomatoes and macaroni routinely for lunch. It was literally a handful of macaroni cooked with a jar of home-canned tomatoes. Maybe some salt and pepper, I dunno. I wasn't paying attention. But it was
In Edinburgh, I find things worth a double-take. Like the above. It's a brick from the flat on 52 Queens St. Ah yes. Chloroform. The serial killer's best friend. Put some on a rag, grab some innocent victim from behind, shove the rag in their nose.
My opinions of the British Monarchy come courtesy of the Sex Pistols. It was 1977, Axtell Park Junior High, Sioux Falls, South Dakota. The upper classes in journalism cranked out a regular mimeographed newsletter - I forget the name of it - and tossed copies into a wooden rack in
OK, let's address the elephant in the room. Edinburgh Castle is an eyesore, and it's got to go. Stupid Castle Built on a huge 260 foot pimple of volcanic rock named Castle Rock (I'm sure it was named that BEFORE they built the castle)